In order to overcome the many challenges of the interstellar art trade, backbreaking lutite harvesting and unbridled creativity, Mud Muppets hope to be compensated for their efforts.
Precious metals and small green leaves were previously accepted but now digitally enhanced, supercharged, zippy-zappy electronic forms of payment are preferred. Mud Muppets can use the totally worthless electrons as sacrificial offerings to the Great Lord Leviaticus, the tyrannical master of Rog and a deity uncannily similar to the embodiment of all politicians, bureaucrats and bankers on Earth.
A sufficient number of sacrifices may one day allow them to buy their freedom, enabling the downtrodden species to migrate to the distant solar system of Sothestassia, where its fair bit warmer, the beer’s cheaper and the locals smile a lot more.
There are many ways that the human species can help.
For instance, please consider supporting the Mud Muppet Fund (MMF), a Not Generous Organisation (NGO) created by kindly humans to raise money in the name of Mud Muppet freedom and conservation and, purely incidentally and unintentionally, make the founders extremely rich in the process. They personally assure that not one bitcoin, euro or dollar given to the MMF will actually do any good for the Mud Muppets themselves, though it will be very well-spent on friendly consultants, SUVs and luxury apartments for staff members in especially needy and low-cost parts of the universe.
If that kind of thing makes you feel warm and fluffy inside, please donate here.
Alternatively, if you’re a more selfish and cold-hearted human, you can buy one, several or all of the Mud Muppets’ diverse array of artsy and non-artsy muddocks – exquisitely handcrafted works of art and artisanry made especially just for you. Yes, unique, truly yours and special.
Each piece you choose has been made millennia ago to pre-fit with your inimitably limited personal perception of beauty, long before you even developed one, thanks to the perceptual time-relocation device, a very clever little gadget about the size of a can of tuna that the Mud Muppets found buried under the sofa cushions on a Saturday afternoon.
By peeling back the lid, they’ve been able to peer into your future and their past through a tiny tuna can-sized gap in the space-time continuum to determine exactly what you will want when you visit this Earthly website, and which you will therefore buy right now, at this very moment, without delay or deliberation, using your most convenient form of payment.